Why?

When you get to that point where you can't take anymore of life's baggage. That point where even the strongest breakdown. The happiest crumble. That point no one talks about 'cause mere mention of it can incite doom. When you get there and eventually you break down. You find yourself in a world totally different. Having no control over anything not even your life. The cancer patients can relate to this. You feel this pain. So immense, it's not the pain of the disease eating at you but of that eating at your resolve, your will to strive on. You can't take it anymore so you breakdown, you find yourself self weeping, screaming "why oh why" next thought you get is "oh let me die" you feel you have no reason to live. Why suffer in so much pain you ponder. What gain do I have living? These thoughts are what goes through your mind. These thoughts lead others to suicide. You think these thoughts. You think of those who went the suicide way. You lean towards that way. You cant help it. You die the world would blame and hate you. Oh but if only they knew. If only they could understand. Only a few does. But you could pull through. A miracle could happen. This is a new thought. The faith of a miracle can keep you going. The thoughts of your hearts own souls can keep you going. Surrounding yourself with them can help ease the hurt. Then you think. What of those who have no one. How can they pull through. Who will be there for them. Who cares enough about them. These thoughts saddens me. I sit here in this little world of mine empathizing with the pain of a loved one and I wonder is the suffering worth it. Must she go on suffering like this. It hurts but we power through eventually cause the Alpha knows it all. And He who made us as we are knows all this is going on, so you gotta do something Lord cause its too much. You know it is. 🙍